27 December 2009

Resolutions and New Years

It's just past Christmas, the carols are finished but the lights are still up. We still have left overs, and our tree is waiting to be taken down. In this past week we've gone from almost two feet of snow to piles of mush while it rains. 2010 is lurking around the corner. Friends on facebook are commenting about resolutions, there are blog posts reflecting on last year. And I'm stuck forgetting that there is a new year, that resolutions could be made. I'm wondering if I want to resolve to anything. Don't get me wrong, I am always writing resolutions in my head, making big plans for big changes, but I hardly follow through. Even with this blog, for example, I've come to let it rest idle in the internet world. I've decided I'm done with Livejournal, which actually makes writing in her almost more difficult. Because I'm not sure what I want this to be. Does it replace my Livejournal, where I mostly ramble like I am right now? Or should it remain as a blog, wanting readers who care about other things besides my resolution dilemma? By 01/01 I'll have made a decision. For now, that's all I can do :)

06 December 2009

Making the Most of Reality; The Internet and Online Friends

I've been a blogger since the days of Open Diary. Back when I was fourteen years old, I was angsty and misunderstood. I didn't know how to relate to the people I went to school with. I had over compensated my personality by obsessing over a band and found ways to willingly be obnoxious about this band. Part of the reason I was so misunderstood was because of my ability to connect with this band, this music, more than I was able to communicate to the people I knew. Instead I turned to online diaries to find people who understood. Over the past eleven years the people I've met online have been amazing, exhilarating and frustrating. I learned more through words than I would have through experience if only because I found my life lacking experience to begin with.

I think that this was both an amazing experience and a hindrance in the long run. I never really managed to figure out this whole "life" thing, at least not without being able to full immerse myself in people I couldn't see and characters of my own creation. I learned how to life within words, spark lives that would be ideal were they real. I connected deeply on levels I imagine may never have happened without the internet. Yet at the same time, those friendships I've acquired have required work that real life friendships require less of: the ability to continue to reconnect while experience remain mostly through a series of characters and words on a screen. I find myself wondering what would be different had they not happened. But I know I'd rather not have it any other way.

I'd like to take a moment to recognize all of those friends, whether we are still in touch or not. I wouldn't be this person I am today without you. And I certainly would not be creating any other blog, no matter how many times I've attempt the task at hand before. Here's to the nights we felt alive...

Penny Days, as a blog and as a reflection of my life, is about reality. It's about real experiences that reach your core. It's about me, and you taking that time to step away from typed words and friends who live miles away. It's about making the best out of what's here right now. It's about learning to be.


*italized lyric from Eve 6 - Here's To The Night

02 December 2009

Welcome to Penny Days.

For years I've contemplated opening a blog, I've even gone so far as to starting a couple with really half-hearted attempts to escaping the world of "online journals" and coming into something better. The idea of a personal blog seems frowned upon sometimes, especially by "professional bloggers", and with all this so-called professionalism that comes along with blogging these days, it's tough for just anyone to create a niche that really means something. We are left with wondering what to write about, should we narrow down our topics? Be specific? What if we are not creative enough to think up something breath taking and ground breaking? Blogging should be about that niche that seems lost between professional blogging and impressing readers with words.

Penny Days is about finding the magic in every day life. I took that term from a novel I wrote in 2003 that was based on the Hanson song Penny & Me. But this blog is about so much more than just finding that magic. It's about creating the magic, it's about being yourself, it's about finding a life outside of these dull walls. And it's also about me, who I am and who I am trying to be.

Penny Days

penny dreams of rainy days / nights up late by the fire place / and aimless conversations about the better days. - Hanson - Penny & Me